Does this mean I’m getting old?

Published May 25, 2010 by MrsQwnBee

Hey There.

I got to admit, I’m kinda having a downer of a day.

My older son is going to be graduating Kindergarten later this week. I remember when I was younger and in school, I couldn’t wait to be done with the school year. But as an adult, it’s a whole other story.

I don’t do well with goodbyes. I cry at funeral scenes in MOVIES. In Avatar, I cried 5 times, and totally came unglued when she rescued him. But I’m a mush. A certifiable mush–and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s the Secret to being me.

So I’m on the verge of tears today, and I don’t really know why. Too many emotions I guess.

I have to say goodbye to my sons teacher soon–and it kills me. She has given me hope, understanding, laughter and the kindness in her heart. She has helped my son grow, talk more, be social more and really blossom this year, for which I am forever thankful for.    And because of the kindness she has shown for my son, wanting the best for him, protecting him when she can–I want to give her a gift of thanks–from my heart.

These days, school for my kids touches me, in ways I never expected they would.

My younger son starts Speech assistance next year too. I will have 1 son in full time 1st grade, and the other, part time in school too. I never thought that would happen. But that means my “little guy” is growing older too.

Now add to that–my daughter is graduating high school in June.  Soon, she will be an adult, on her own and going through life’s ups and downs. (I hope there won’t be many downs).  Her graduating is a big thing–it means she’s growing, getting older and the rumor is that I too, am getting older. (Everyone I’ve met recently still thinks I look 17 or 18–so I’m safe).  But “your little babies” aren’t babies anymore. They’re growing up.

I just read a great blog from my friend Chris. And he attached a video clip about Love and Paying it all forward. I got teary eyed again. 

But life is all about living, growing, loving and caring.  So instead of throwing myself a Pity Party, and this being all about me–I want to give something to you.

Life is not so scary, when you have distractions. Caring for others, passing on a kind word–whether it’s a smile or well wishes–it doesn’t matter. Pay it forward.

I could easily “give up the ghost,” turn off the computer and shut myself down. But I think when we really feel the most confused, upset or sad–we need to turn to others. Help them. Motivate them, Inspire them, Pay Attention to them, Listen to them.

And the funny things is–by changing your focus from yourself and your problems, to others and being a Light and a Beacon for them–it rubs off on you, and suddenly, you find that your inspiration towards others, has actually inspired you as well!

This was passed to me earlier this week. And I want to share it with you as well. I need some uplifting–so I’m going to uplift all of you instead! Funny how that works isn’t it?? Giving part of yourself away actually makes you feel fuller! (You gotta love the logic in that one!)

Pay it Forward.  Give something Back.  Believe in yourself. Believe that whatever you can conceive, you can achieve! Even if it’s your own personal dare to make that crusty old Scrooge crack a smile–then do it!

The world is your oyster! Today will be your BEST DAY Ever!!!

Live, Laugh, Love. Another 3 simple words to live by!  And thank you my friends–just by writing this, you have all made me feel better! So my thanks go to you!!!

THANK YOU!!!!!

Now enjoy this! You deserve it! —

Advertisements

What a Comeback!!!!

Published May 20, 2010 by MrsQwnBee

 

Hello Again!

I know I’ve only been blogging for a teeny tiny bit–but I think it’s time I share something with you.

I was hesitant to announce this to the world, because really, it’s NOT AT ALL my intention to get sympathy. It’s just from the heart and the real deal.

I’m really not saying this to try to get sympathy or even friends (but I do LOVE new friends, so catch me on Facebook–mrsqueenbee).

It’s just simply the absolute and total truth.

So here it is. My own personal “scoop” (and you’ll see why that’s funny as you read on).

Now, we are all trying so hard to make our businesses soar. Try this, try that.  We all have big dreams for us, our family, our way of life. But in 1995, I almost didn’t have a life.

I had brain surgery. I was 22 years old, and after that day, September 22, 1995, my whole life’s slate was wiped clean. Everything was turned upside down. I died on the table 3 times. but each time, I came back.

I was in the ICU for a week, followed by another week in the hospital.  But finally I got to come home.

I was right handed for everything–eating, putting on my makeup, brushing my teeth, shaving–you name it, I did it with my right hand. That was all gone in the blink of an eye.

I couldn’t hardly stand up and my balance was so awful I needed a nurse to help me walk in a walker.  It was really pathetic. I was a young 22 year old Mom of a 2 year old, but I felt like I was 80 and crippled. It was so disheartening, I don’t even have the words (and I’m a jabberjaw–so you know it must be bad!).

I knew my own name and the names of family members, but I couldn’t remember anything of my life before that day. (Thank goodness for pictures!). All gone. Nothing. Blank.

My vision was blurry and I couldn’t really taste anything. All I could do is  stare  and sleep. I had trouble even completing a statement. It was exhausting just to try to speak.  I was truly living the life of a zombie.

But I came back.

It took me 2 and a half years to learn to write left handed.  I was a recreational league hockey goalie briefly and I even learned to drive a stick shift car! Pretty Cool huh?

But I came back!

I got divorced thru all of this–but I was privileged to marry the man of my dreams, my Superglue for everything. (He would even come to visit his “dearest friend” on his days off from work, and walk with me, hand in hand, around the block because I couldn’t do it by myself.)

What a great comeback that was!

Now fast forward to now.  We’ve been married almost 11 years and have 2 sons. My daughter (then 2) will be graduating High School this June!

I came back to lead a great life filled with lots of love and daily challenges! (With 2 boys, how could you not?)  I have always dreamed of giving back what I’ve been so blessed to receive unconditionally–from so many.

I want to retire my husband from his Corporate America job –that is my goal! I want for him to be able to walk in and fire his boss!!! He will–eventually!  But wouldn’t you love to stage a huge comeback like that too?

I dealt with the cards I was given. I did it, and that’s all there is to it. I’m no hero, not a person to  admire–just a Mom and a Wife. My family is my #1 priority to me.

To me, this whole part of my life is History. It came, it happened, we’re done, now move on.  So I really don’t dwell on it at all (and thanks to the ice cream scooper in my head, my short term memory is not that great anymore, so I don’t think about it very often).

What this whole experience did for me, was that it has given me hope. It makes me remember to laugh and find amusement in the little things in life. I pay attention and I notice those everyday miracles–because now I am one of them.

The statistics for people that have survived their brain surgeries is staggering. I didn’t know this until recently, and it takes my breath away. Only 30% manage to live for 5 more years!  Talk about bleak? Holy Cow!!!

Well, then my husband (yes, you read that right–BOTH of us) and I have kicked that stat in the head!!! (Hee Hee!) Mine is going on 15 years and his is going to be 12 this year!

So do I think of myself as a miracle? No. Do I think about where I came from and what obstacles I faced and won against? Sometimes. But not too often. Like I said–my family is my priority. My business comes next. Me? That can go on the back burner. But I do get a pretty good laugh when people say “Well it’s not brain surgery to figure this out.”

My sense of humor has kept me going, and always will.  I try to be as positive as I can, because every day I’m alive, really is a miracle–if those stats were correct.

But this journey called LIFE, that we’ve all embarked on is going to be a great comeback for all of us!  It’s like a good book–you can’t  put it down!  I can’t wait to see what happens!

The future is so bright! Just remember to Keep on Keepin’ On, Pay Attention, and Love the fact that you’re alive. Every day matters! Big or small.

If you were touched by this, please share it with others in need or just share the inspiration! Feel free to comment, and to friend me on Facebook. I wrote a special note that talks even more about this and I’d love to pass it on.

Thank you for reading!

Best of Luck to ALL of us!

For the “whole” story, tune into my Facebook page–MrsQwnbee–it’s there under the “Notes” and it’s called “By Popular Demand.”

Houston–We’ve got a Problem…

Published May 18, 2010 by MrsQwnBee

Houston? We’ve got a problem.

Copy that. What’s the problem?    This planet! These humanoids. That’s the problem.

Sadly, the movies just might be onto something.

In my favorite movie this year, Avatar, they strongly believe in the All Powerful, All Knowing, Alive Today and Yesterday, Eywa. In our world Earth–we call it Mother Nature.

The best things can come from Mother Nature. The things that keep us healthy, keep us safe–all come from Mother Nature herself.

With all the technological advancements that happen everyday–I always remember the quote from Jurassic Park/Jeff Goldblum’s character Ian Malcolm.   Science gives us so many things. We can create this, we can make that, we can recreate life, “but the real question is SHOULD WE?”

It really makes me sad is that yes, we are so advanced, we have so many things that give us short cuts and we take them (I’m guilty like everyone else here–so I’m not worthy of a soapbox). But we really don’t know what the long term effects are going to be.

We have great household items–but our kids are starting to pay the price. Autism, cancer, asthma, etc.  We have beautiful personal care products–but they alter our hormones, mutate cells, cause cancer and birth defects.

We have foods that are quick–but is it giving us the real nutrition we need? And I love my microwave oven–but what is it really doing to the foods that I’m eating?  What is it doing to our insides? I know it’s bad–but we are a very active, crazy household. We don’t sit down for anything! No time! This is not an excuse, but it’s all I’ve got.

We don’t have any real proof, on a  LOT of things we use–yet.  But it’s coming. It’s slowly creeping out in the effects it’s having with our children and in our future–our babies.                          
I do what I can. I take my vitamins, use cleaners & personal care items that really and truly are safe to use–especially around my kids.

Let Mother Nature “mother” us–more than we’re letting her.  She’s trying!  But with Oil Spills (thanks BP and Exxon), pollution of water, lakes, rivers, etc., the smog levels in big cities like LA–we’re killing her. We’re slowly choking her to death, and with her–us too.

Almost everyone knows there is a problem. Global Warming, pollution, blah blah blah.  I see posts about the dangers of the chemicals and toxins everywhere–but no one does anything about it, but post “How bad it is” so others can read it. I guess that means they’ve done their civic duty to the human race?

Are you kidding me???

This honestly makes me NUTS! I have no tolerance for this junk.  People that say how bad it is and we need to make a change but do NOTHING about it! NOTHING!!! So who do they think they are? They’re just contributing to this madness.

I work with a company that has been Going Green for 25 years–when green was just a color in the crayon box. They’ve managed to unite Science and Nature to give us the safest and best products for daily living out there.  It makes me crazy when people would rather buy more expensive and toxic junk than switch over to something safer. WHY?

My family is the top most important thing to me. That’s why I changed to living safer and Greener. I didn’t know about all the stuff out there before, but now I do. I now consider myself an expert with what I use and how to stay safe in this crazy world.  I freely give my knowledge and educate others about it, but they still don’t take it seriously. Sadly, they have to learn of its importance when a close family member is harmed by the health problems that these chemicals are causing.

But if you are SERIOUS about Going Green, being safe–take advantage of what is out there to help you. Read labels!!! Know more about the chemicals in the products you use and put into your body as food. PAY ATTENTION!!!!   If you know better and still do nothing–then SHAME ON YOU!  Let Mother Nature HELP you. Stop ignoring her.

Life isn’t perfect, and none of us are going to make it out alive.  But keep doing the best you possibly can while you’re here!  

Let’s not be a society built on “How NOT to do it” but a society that learned from its mistakes and is on the right track!  Be well and stay safe my Friends! 

PS—-If you are TRULY interested in safer living–I would LOVE to share the information I have and have experienced personally. Let me help you—-if you want.  At the end of the day, we are all just human–and being human means helping each other.  This is what I am here to do!  Check out my website: http://www.mrsqwnbee.info

Just a reminder–Humans Afoot!

Published May 18, 2010 by MrsQwnBee

Being Human.

2 little words that have so many meanings.

Loving others unconditionally, making mistakes–some big, some little, finding your Soulmate, the joys you find in children, your educational and career decisions, and the list goes on.

It’s only Human to be afraid of new things.  I just embarked on really sticking my neck out and it’s scary. But I know it NEEDS to be done, and is therefore scary to me because I just don’t know all about yet. 

Things scare and intimidate you when you just don’t know all the facts. It’s like kids and night lights. You’re afraid of what might be in the dark, until a light is shown–and then it’s not so scary anymore.

I’m sure I’ll get into the swing of things in no time at all–but for now, it catches my breath.

I fly under the radar, with only my heart and good intentions to shine. What I do is a gift from the heart–but it doesn’t pad the wallet–which really isn’t fair. The things we enjoy and put our whole being into should give us financial reward along with personal reward. But it doesn’t work that way–yet! (I’m working on a solution to that as we speak!)

My goal in life, whenever I go out, is to make whoever I see or am dealing with–smile or laugh.  If I have to make a really dumb joke to get a giggle–then that’s what I’m going to do!

But, if I did make them smile, laugh or feel like a human being again, then I’ve done my job and I can go home knowing that I made someone’s day. (If you saw my Facebook status this week, you’ll see that I totally accomplished my goal!!)

 It’s small, but so important.  Pay it forward–random acts of kindness–you name it! We’re ALL HUMAN and frankly, we deserve it from our fellow-man.

That’s just part of what it takes to be Human. Just to notice other people and not walk through life with blinders on. You miss out on so much–it’s like you were never there in the first place. And that is a horrible thing to deprive yourself of!

Now, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I used to work retail. Yes, I was one of those “behind the counter people.”  I got dressed up, looked nice, smiled lots and wore makeup.

But it was truly appalling to me how (some people were) the dregs of society felt that they were entitled to reduce you to nothing and treat you like pond scum, JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE BEHIND A COUNTER!!!!! Real estate turned me into a punch dummy. WHAT?

So I put up with it–mind you I needed to un-screw my smile after the day was done. But it taught me an important lesson (besides tolerance). People who work retail, or are behind ANY COUNTER–whether it be fast food, the grocery store, members of any office staff–ANYONE–treat them well. Treat them nicely. Make them smile! I heard it takes only 7 muscles to create a smile. but upwards of 200 to frown or scowl. Now anyone who is into looking young–let this be a lesson to you!

It’s not hard to be nice or friendly. It takes a lot more energy to be crusty, mean or a liar.  (I could never be a good liar–I can’t remember to keep the lie “up” and remember all the different angles and people I have to fool–it’s too much work).

You know, we’re all in this together–don’t be afraid to help each other out. That’s what life is all about. Being that shoulder for someone, taking the time to really pay attention, observe the little things life has to offer. They’re ALL there–but are you seeing them?

I hope when you read this, it softens your heart, or just makes you think twice. You allow kindness in, and let your heart do the talking. What you give freely to others comes back to you tenfold. We all need to live in more positive, caring times. And the only way to get there–is by giving everyone you meet or deal with, a little piece of your heart.

I hope you enjoyed reading this and it inspired you!  Please share it with others you think might need this little reminder or inspiration too!!

As always, I would LOVE to hear your comments!!!  Have a great weekend!!!

I’m NOT fat, I’m Festively Plump!

Published May 18, 2010 by MrsQwnBee

Hey to all of you!!!

I take it you read the headline above? Cartman from South Park had it right! In my opinion, 95% of women (all ages too) think they’re fat, unattractive, ugly, blah blah blah. There’s those 5% of us that are either really hot, comfortable in their own skin, or have egos bigger that the North American continent!

But my focus is on all of us 95%-ers.

Now I don’t think I’m “all that,” or anywhere near a bag of potato chips. I try–Lord knows I am vain. (I take pictures of myself on days I actually have makeup on! I have to celebrate the moment, because it doesn’t happen very often–but ONLY my face and I do that for a reason/public service!).

Now I don’t stop traffic or make gay men want to convert. I’m just me–I always have and aways will be.  But to comfortable in my skin? Are you nuts? This is me we’re talking about!

My husband (which is my longtime Superglue), thinks and has ALWAYS thought I was the Cat’s pyjamas!!!!! (The feeling is VERY mutual!)  Love is blind–maybe. Or is it?  He sees something in me I have never been able to see. He can look past the physical (which he loves anyway), and see my heart. He can see the wife, the best friend, the confidant and the Mom that I am.

There’s been times I totally thought he was NUTS. For instance when I was pregnant with our first son. I got ENORMOUS–no make that GINORMOUS!!!! We had to grease to doorjams with Crisco just so I could get out the door!!!  But he still loved me with no question! So much in fact, even though I made hippos look small and dainty–but we actually conceived son #2!!!  (I thought my appearance alone would be birth control–but apparently, it sure wasn’t!).

Now I am a handful! I have a sometimes wicked sense of humor, a dirty mind, I observe all kinds of crazy things,  and get scared just like a child and am really hard on myself.  But no matter who or what I am–my husband and close friends ALWAYS adore me.

This is what Life is all about–friendships and love. Cliche’? Yeah, but there’s actually truth to it.  Our friends manage to see past the front cover.

Now in MLM’s, home businesses, any customer service industry out there–they ALWAYS tell us to “never to judge a book by it’s cover.”  Now that’s cliche’! But they’re right.

We as humans are ALL guilty of that at least once in our lives (perhaps weekly). Come on admit it!!!  We are judgemental–try as we might to follow the teachings of God, Buddha or whoever you believe in–WE ALL DO IT. You feel guilty for doing it, but you can’t help it. It’s like a train wreck–you just HAVE to sit and watch it happen.

Now I give the greatest advice, but can’t follow it to save my life. So I’m going to give the rest of the 95%-ers some advice (I just won’t listen at this part!!).

We need to appreciate ourselves–everyday. Start off small–notice the little things, the big things. the human things, the Mom things, the friend things we do on a daily basis. Go through your day and notice what you did that helped make an impact–for others.

I don’t mean to go in the bathroom, put on all your makeup, make goo-goo faces at yourself in the mirror and look at yourself in the mirror repeating “I am soooooooooooo hot! Rawr!” No. I’m sure it works for others, but that is just too embarrassing for words.

Everyone talks about the “Attitude of Gratitude.” But I think that attitude needs to start with us and how we look at ourselves. Be grateful you have the average things on your face (2 eyes, 2 ears, one mouth, etc.). Look at who is in your life–hubby? Kids? Parents? Friends?Appreciate those things. It’s so much easier to take time out and appreciate others and actions around you than to really zone in and look at yourself. That’s scary. Start off with the less painful things first.

But start.  Start today. Pay attention. And do it tomorrow too. I DARE YOU!!!!!

It’s the little things in life that can be so significant–but you have to notice them first.

Like I said, start off small. Be grateful for yourself. Keep on being grateful for yourself, and after a while (or a long while) you just might be that person who does put all her makeup on and makes those goo-goo faces in the mirror!!!

I am Festively Plump!!! I have sausage arms and my thunder thighs are so amazing when they slap together, Lightning flies out of my a$$!!!! It’s like being one of the gods on Mount Olympus!! And I I can do it whenever I want!! Whoo- Hoo!!!

Besides, confident chicks are HOT!!! Ask any guy out there!

So let’s make being Festively Plump an AWESOME THING!!!! Don’t be afraid or resent what having kids did to your body, or how the Holidays seems to pack on the pounds! Are you enjoying yourself while you do it? Then GO FOR IT!!!!!

Together, we can go so far–but alone, it’s really slow and seems impossible.  I’m here to cheer you on the path to laughing and being grateful for who you are! You can do it!!!

Thanks for reading this! It comes from the heart and I would love for you to share this with your friends too!!!

Ooh!! We got a Blog Virgin!!!

Published May 17, 2010 by MrsQwnBee

Hi Everybody!  My name is Jennifer, and yes, this is my first blog–so be gentle with me!

There are so many topics I could talk about. I’m not a rocket scientist, a genius, a priest. I don’t have Super Smarts or a degree to counsel–but I do have something I can share–and that is my own experiences with this thing we call life.

Today–we’re gonna (well, I’m gonna) talk about me.

Life is filled with so many adventures, don’t you agree? First, I was Jennifer–the baby, the kid, the teenager (which I’m still grateful everyday that my Mom didn’t kill me–‘cuz Lord knows I earned it on several occasions!). Then I became a wife and my most important title to date–a Mom.

But on this adventure of “Jennifer”–I lost my identity (which is really sad because I have enough personality for 20 people at least!). But I did. It happens more than you think!

Instead of being Jennifer, I became so and so’s Mom, so and so’s Wife–but with no name attached. I was nameless. I was the property of someone else–“Jennifer” no longer existed.

So to get that back, what do I do?

Well, time is on my side–as my kids are getting older, my name is coming back! I’m finding oodles of really terrific and wonderful friends on Face Book! They only know me as Jennifer–not as “the kids’ Mom”!!! I’m getting me back! Whoo Hoo!!

But as much as I could gripe about losing my identity, I would never in a million years, trade being a Mom for anything. It’s really hard work, the pay is terrible, there’s no sick or vacation time and the holidays are hit and miss. Even your own birthday or anniversary can easily get spoiled. But you make the best you can, of everyday and every situation.

Being a Mom means really being blessed (and not just being fertile enough to have kids). You grow and develop into a person you never thought was in there or was even possible to be. 

I wouldn’t trust ANYONE out there to care for my kids the way I do. (I even had a hard time letting Dad do his parental thing. He didn’t do it the way I did it–so it had to be wrong, right?) The patience needed for them no one else would have. Their funny little “isms” would freak some people out, but I know what to do and roll with it.

Strangely, my kids have made me the person I am today (which can change daily it seems). But all in all, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if it weren’t for them.

That’s not saying I wouldn’t love to go an a quiet vacation with my hubby and feel what is was like when it was just “us two.” Heck, somedays I would even love to go golfing with him–just to hear quiet and feel peace!

I really do love my life! I am proud to wear the badge of Wife/Best Friend/Soul Mate and Mom/Caregiver/Nurturer. But now, I am getting back to being “Jennifer, so and so’s Wife” and “Jennifer, so and so’s Mom!”

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! It feels good to be me again! But your own identity as a person does disappear for a while. But don’t worry–it WILL come back! But keep a sense of humor (you’ll need that desperately!) and have patience. It takes time, I won’t lie, but it will be back. And after this section of your journey, you’ll be equipped with even more personality than you had before–because now you have a new facet–your experiences as a Mom!!! 

And who doesn’t love a good Mom story–what crazy/weird/funny thing your kids did? I’ve got so many, I’ll be sure to entertain you with them as we keep going on our journey!

Now please don’t ever think that being a Mom is where it’s “at.” “If you want to be somebody–be a Mom.” Absolutely Not!!!!

Some people aren’t meant for Mommyhood. And that’s OK!! It’s definitely NOT a job for everyone. There are people destined for other things, and raising a family is a Full Time job. It wouldn’t be fair to ignore your family in order to persue personal goals–especially if you know that you won’t be able to be there in the way that they need. Then there’s guilt, drama, hate, loneliness, arguments, etc.

It’s better to know what you want, and do what you need without hurting the ones you love. In a way, it’s more humane for some to NOT start a family. And kudos to all of you who have figured that out and don’t try to “do what is expected of you” if you know in your heart that it’s just not right for you.

Frankly, I never wanted to be a Mom. I never thought I would ever be a Mom either! I was the dorky teenager that wanted my tubes tied for my 18th birthday! (I told you–I was a smart a$$).

But now that I am–I wouldn’t change a thing! Now my life is about them, keeping them safe, doing the right things for them and helping them along in this journey called life–hopefully with their personality and identity in tact!!!!

Thanks for coming along on section of my journey! Please feel free to let me know what you think!